Editor’s note: Adding a new category to my blog… hope you like it! I’ll try to stay on topic: afterlife and ancient human heritage… MM
A minister dies and finds himself second in line at the pearly gates, behind a guy wearing sunglasses, a bright shirt, and jeans.
Saint Peter says, “Tell me about yourself, and they fellow says, “I’m Mike Ramirez, taxi driver, New York.”
Saint Peter looks at his list, smiles, and tells the taxi driver, “Here, take this silken robe and bejeweled staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Next, the minister, chin up, says proudly, “I’m William Berry, pastor of Sainte Mary’s for the past 47 years.”
Again Saint Peter looks at his list and says, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
“Wait a minute,” says the minister. “That man’s a taxi driver, and he gets a silk robe and bejeweled staff. Am I missing something?”
Saint Peter explains, “Up here we look at results. While you preached, people slept. While Mike drove, people prayed.”
A couple were driving home one night, hit a truck, and were killed instantly. They arrived in Heaven and found themselves on a magnificent golf course with a lovely clubhouse, manicured greens, and lush trees… and it was only for them!
After she teed off at the first hole, she asked her husband why he was grumbling.
He said, “You know, if it hadn’t been for your stupid oat bran, we could have been here years ago.”
And God created woman. And she was good. She had two arms, two legs, and three breasts. And God asked woman what she would like to have changed, and she asked for the middle breast to be removed. And it was good. She stood with the third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless boob. And God created man.